FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT HBM FANZINE - ANSWERED BY THE EDITOR, CLIVE MONSTER.

SO WHEN AND WHY DID 'HERE BE MONSTERS' START ?!?
Christmas 1992 my then good friend and work mate Mark gave me a handful of Fanzines as a 'present' !! On reading 'em I thought I could do better AND it appeared I could blag aloada free CDs and Vinyl in the process !! And so that's what happened…..Mark is still my good mate (and also writes for HBM under the name of Mark Monster !!) and the rest is history….!!

IN THE EARLY DAYS 'HBM' SEEMED TO HAVE A STRONG BIAS TO AMERICAN BANDS AND SOUNDS….!?!
Yeah totally !! I was heavily into Grunge and the so- called 'Seattle Scene' and at the time the UK's music sucked big time. Add the fact that American bands and labels proved generous with their promos whilst their UK counterparts didn't wanna know (re-arrange the words Stone, Blood, Out Of !!) and it's easy to see why HBM developed that stance !!

PLUS FOR THE FIRST FEW ISSUES HBM WAS PROUDLY DECLARED 'INTERVIEW FREE' !! WHY WAS THIS !?!? WERE YOU A WUSS AND AFRAID TO FACE PEOPLE ?!?!
Basically YES !! The thought of meeting a Band or 'Rock Star' I admired and asking stoopid question made my legs go funny and caused other neurological problems….!! (Not to mention the funny smell !!)

SO HOW DID YOU GET OVER THAT YOU BIG JESSIE !?! WHO WAS THE FIRST ONE….!?!
The first one was Henry Rollins of all people !! I was sorta coerced into it by a PR Company who'd set up a Fanzine Press Conference - so at least it was safety in numbers for me !! Just being there and meeting him was a buzz and it gave me the confidence to try for more on my own. The Supersuckers were next - they were a blast and I was hooked !!

HOW MANY COPIES OF AN ISSUE DO YOU SELL ON AVERAGE…!?!
Depends who's asking !!! To people in the business (bands, PR/Label bods and girlies I want to impress), Hundreds, if not Thousands !! To Tax Inspectors and others I might owe money to, barely a Hundred !! It's somewhere between the two - go figure….!!

BUT EVEN IF IT'S A COUPLE HUNDRED PER ISSUE YOU MUST BE RAKING IT IN….!?!?!
I Wish !! No…..I've never sat down and worked it out but with productions costs, extras like 'phone bills and the killer that is Post and Packing (like getting a Zine to the U.S. is well over a Pound !!) - when you produce a Zine you basically take a vow of poverty !

BUT YOU GET CDs FOR FREE AND CAN PROPERLY BLAG YOUR WAY ONTO ANY BANDS GUESTLIST AT SHOWS, ETC…..!?!
Yes, true - you've got me there…..guilty as charged but I've got to have SOME perks !?!? I can't expect or ask for EVERY single release I fancy though. Some labels (read many large ones, surprise, surprise !!) are positively difficult to contact and twist arms so it's a skill in itself you have to learn…..

IF A BAND, LABEL BOD OR PROMO PERSON WANTS A RELEASE REVIEWED IN 'HBM', WHAT SHOULD THEY DO ?
Send it along to the address listed under 'CONTACT' and it will be fairly and honestly reviewed. Fact: - Good music gets good write-ups, bad music gets slated ! Warning: - Bland grey rubbish is IGNORED ! Bribes ARE blindly accepted but if the music's bad enough we'll gladly spend the cash, use the drugs and/or sleep with whoever's on offer and STILL give your release a kickin' !! Common Sense, innit……?!?

BUT IF YOU'RE SO HARD, HOW COME MOST-TIMES YOU CENSOR THE 'F' WORD THUS - 'F**K' !?!?
Listen - I love to see the worlds most famous Anglo- Saxon expletive in it's full uncensored glory just like any other f**ker, but I have Two young daughters running about the house all day and I'd like them to enjoy their innocence for as long as possible - so Daddy's 'work' is self-censored for this reason. It's a personal choice unaffected by my peers or outside influences - in other words my stance truly is 'Punk Rock' !! Geddit !?!?

YEP - OK…..THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…..!!!